Category Archives: whisper

whispers are those that are being voiced… murmurs are items in which it is unclear about what is being voiced.



I was scanning blogs the other day (on my birthday actually) and came upon this Enigma Cafe post.

You’ll notice that if you click on the Enigma Cafe post title, you’ll get connected to YouTube and will hear a rendition of Moon River. This song holds special significance to me (especially on Mother’s Day), because it is the song I sang to my mother as she lay dying in the hospital, surrounded by the sounds of the respirator, heart monitor and various alarms going off at other patients bedsides, six years ago.

It seems like yesterday. In fact, as I was typing this, I originally typed two years ago and actually had to find the death certificate to figure out what year it was. I remember the date she died… April 14.

I was born the day before Mothers Day (on a Saturday), and it was through her that I learned so much including the discovery of my ability to sing. We used to sing a lot together when I was younger. So, it seemed only natural to sing a favorite of ours at that time.

When I was a teenager, I started calling mom by her first name. Well a nickname of her first name, which was Lillian. I called her Lil. I can’t remember why I started doing this. Maybe it was my rebelliousness as a teenager. I also don’t know why she allowed me to do this. All I know, is that it became my term of endearment and closeness. It was a shortform of, “I love you, mom.”

So, it was interesting that I should stumble upon that particular website where Moonriver is featured on this particular day.

Louise Logs

An artist friend of mine is creating a series of videos entitled, the Louise Logs. I think they are brilliant, and given the nature of the dialog, I think they fit perfectly with the title and intents of this blog. The plan I have come up with, is to post one here each week (at this point in time, there are five of them).

Of course, you can always see them all at once if you like. Here, then, is the first one:

Remember to turn your sound on. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Bridges pictures

You may have been able to tell from my previous post about the photo assignment, that I was unsure of how the pictures would be received. I was not happy with everything I submitted, and neither was the editor. Actually, that’s a little harsh. She felt that many of the photos did not match up to the quality of my other photos that she had seen.

Given the choice of re-shooting or waiting until my inspiration matches their theme, I chose not to re-shoot. I had a hard time trying to figure out how and what to photograph, and I still don’t know what would work. Fortunately, the editor was very understanding and is still willing to accept pictures from me.


More importantly, this little adventure has gotten me out and shooting again. It’s been a long hiatus.


Tuesday, I went into the hospital to get an upgrade to my defibrillator.  I’ve had it since 2005, but it has never gone off.  Tuesday, after the upgrade, on Wednesday morning (4:30am), it went off.  I had been told over the years, that I’d know when it went off and it would feel like getting kicked in the chest.  They were right!!!

Basically it’s a shock to the heart, like when you see a medical program on TV and the medic puts a paddle on either side of the patient’s chest and shouts, “Clear!”.  My heart had not stopped, it went into VTach (ventricular tachycardia).  VTach is when the heart is beating too fast for the heart to do its job correctly.

I”m back home now and my chest is not only sore from the installation of the new defibrillator, but from the defibrillator going off… at least I know it works.

Where I’ve Been

I find that the reason I don’t post is not because I have nothing to say, but rather I am staying away from the computer. I am not only not blogging, I’m not doing anything with the computer. No pictures, no writing, no finances… nothing. This should be a good sign because it would seem to indicate that I have a life, but it ignores the fact that using the computer is part of my life.

I recently purchased a book on speed reading because I have always felt my reading to be slower than most. My comprehension of reading material has always been very good, but slow in my opinion. It’s pretty interesting so far. It’s The Evelyn Wood Seven-Day Speed Reading and Learning Program. I got it on sale at Barnes & Noble.

So, I don’t have an excuse for not writing in the blog other than being away from the computer.

Jersey and NY

Been wondering about what to write and realized that there is a lot I’m not talking about.

I started the process of putting my name on another list for kidney transplant.  This second place is in New Jersey – Hackensack.  I thought I had to start from the beginning, but my 5 year wait on the present list is carried over to the Hackensack list… nice.  For some reason, I feel more comfortable with the Jersey bureaucracy than the New York one… no reason, just attitude.

I’ll get into it more later.  Just chipping ice at this point.