My kidney donor goes for the cardiac stress test next Monday. Neither of us is worried about it. After that test, a sonogram has to be done. My transplant coordinator seems to be dragging his feet. Seems to me, he could have arranged the tests fairly close to each other.
I’ve expressed to him my wanting to get this done as soon as possible. I do not want to be in the hospital in July, when all the inexperienced doctors are starting.
I think I’ll call my coordinator again, tomorrow.
A few days ago, I mentioned going into another medical hole . What I was talking about, is getting a kidney transplant. I have a friend who is willing to donate a kidney and we both have had a number of medical tests to go through. My friend has about 3 more tests and if all works out, we can proceed. If the test do not work out, it means I will have to stay on dialysis, which I have been on for a year. My biggest fear at the moment is that my friend will not pass all the tests. I dare not even fantasize not being on dialysis.
Saturday morning. Looking at the screen and asking myself where to begin. That’s the problem with keeping things in for so long… It all gets jumbled and priorities are lost.
Well, I guess this period of my life can be aeen as starting when I had my first VTach experience. At that time, despite my brovado, I began to feel scared. A part of my body that had never caused problems in my youth, was acting strangely. People around me were acting scared. Lots of serious faces, furrowed brows. I became accutely aware of how my heart was beating, and my own fear started to overshadow the fear of the people around me.
It’s not like the movies. I mean there is no dramatic event with swelling violin music in the background. It’s just beeping noises and a slow diminishing of my body’s capabilities. I’m not talking about the experience of getting shocked to make my heart slow down – That’s pretty dramatic even without the music (and it hurts).
All of a sudden my strength is less,… walking becomes a chore and nurses drift in and out of sight. And the kicker is that after all that time, when I’m starting to feel better (hell, I even started another blog), I’m about to enter another medical hole.
